The wonderful students at Bassingbourn Village College surround me with incisive questions then came up with the weirdest ideas for a short story which still needs an ending:
The Catflap News
The Summer of 3016 as we reported it.
The Summer of 3016 as we reported it.
“SUPER CAT” FRANK RESCUES PET HUMANS
‘These pets have got to stop it,’ Frank told us. ‘Climbing is for cats, humans can’t do it. I’m fed up with getting them out of trees.’ (June 10th)
DO HUMANS STILL MAKE GOOD PETS?
‘Humans are getting difficult,’ a Siamese reported. ‘Some don’t even seem to like being petted. One tried to scratch me yesterday.’ (June 20th)
HUMANS ATTACK
Two humans, strangely called Pom and Dom, have hurt several cats in Royston. ‘They want to take charge again,’ said a sobbing Tabby.’ (July 10th)
HUMANS MUST BE STOPPED
‘Attacks are happening all over the place, even as near as Meldreth.’ Pam our Persian reporter informs us. (July 20th)
IT’S WAR
We need help. Where is Super Frank? (August 4th)
FRANK IS NOT SO SUPER
‘I’m really an ordinary ginger tom,’ Frank said. ‘Too many things to lick. I’ll stay at home.’
(August 12th)
ATTACKS GET CLOSER
‘The fighting has reached Whaddon.’ A breathless Burmese reported to us. ‘I think they injured Frank’s mother.’ (August 15th)
FRANK TO THE RESCUE.
‘My mother has been hurt!’ Frank wailed. ‘This is personal. I will fight’ (August 16th)
NO CONTEST
Super Frank is getting things back to normal. No-one can stop him. (Our headlines from August 17th)
SUPER HERO GIVES IN.
Humans find out about Frank’s fish weakness. ‘I just collapse at those slimy eyes. They have beaten me with fish. It’s like kryptonite to superman.’ Frank wept to our reporter as he slunk away.
(August 18th)
A LOST CAUSE
As we lose this fight, humans are claiming cats as their own. ‘I am no-one’s property,’ Frank purred angrily having just escaped a cat tagging team. ‘I must fight on, somehow.’ (August 16th)
FRANK GOES FOR HELP
No-one knew why he went there but Frank returned with the strangest of help. ‘I’ve brought the big boys from Shepreth.’ He marched his animal army towards the fight. (August 19th)
THE BATTLE OF KNEESWORTH.
‘Frank’s animals are causing mayhem.’ Pam meowed. ‘Mice are running up trouser legs making humans scream and giraffes giving out vicious kicks. Victory will soon be ours!’ (August 20th)
DISASTER
‘A huge pack of dogs arrived. Man’s best friend siding with the humans.’ Pam had run from snapping jaws to report. ‘Frank will lose.’ (August 21st)
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